Alcohol is bad for you
Alcohol can be bad for you in many ways. Your brain, heart, and many other parts of your body are changed with the alcohol. Next I will tell you how the body changes.
The alcohol affects the brain. The brain functions slower when you drink too much, as well as not being able to walk normal. Instead of talking you slur. It causes mixed messages to your brain, which will cause serious damage.
This is how it affects your heart and liver. The heart rate speeds up, and you get low blood pressure. You have a higher chance of having a stroke. The alcohol is processed in the liver.Over time it can cause a fatty liver (abundance of fat.)
Alcohol can change our behavior if we drink too much. When your behavior changes you either become tired, aggressive, and hyper. Also people do things that they would not do if you had not have drank that much, like giving everyone a hug or wanting to fight.
I feel alcohol is not worth the side effects that control your body. I don’t feel safe around people that drink a lot of alcohol. Now that I have told you about what it can do go help me make a difference.
I agree that alcohol is very bad for the brain and heart. I think that you put “Alcohol negatively affects the brain, the brain functions slower if you drink too much, as well as not being able to walk normal.” I wouldn’t put what you’re about to say in the next paragraph. I really liked it because you put in all the correct information.
-Madison
I never knew alcohol could do so many bad things to your body. I think you did a very, very good job on putting in all of the side effects. I too, feel that alcohol is not worth drinking because you are risking your life. At the end of your first paragraph I would use “next, I will tell you how the body changes.” The reader will find what the next paragraph is about as soon as they read it. I also think that you should explain things more, like when you said “instead of talking you slur.” Explain what slur is, or when you were talking about a stroke, explain what a stroke is. Over all I think it is a excellent piece.
I agree with you 100 percent. It can change your body parts. You really use great words like, abundance and aggressive, I thought I was reading a 4th grader’s writing. Though it’s a nice piece of writing I have 2 things to say:
1. Alcohol can be bad for you, it’s O.K. for special ocation.
2. I think you should add comma after Next in the first paragraph and after do in the last paragraph.
Over all, I though your blog was exellent.
Sincely,
Anya.
Yeah, I agree that adults should stop drinking alcohol. My mom and dad drink alcohol, so I should show them this piece of writing to make them stop drinking.
Nya,
That was a great post! I think if you showed your writing to someone who drinks a lot, maybe he or she would stop drinking because he or she learned about the dangers of it.
From,
Haley
Nya,
That is an excellent piece of writing and now that I know exactly how bad alcohol is for you I Devon, am never going to drink alcohol in my life!
From,
Devon