We need a grass field
Our dirt field hurts when you fall on it.
I think it would be better to have a grass field we could play new games, have more soccer fields, and people won’t get hurt.
I would like a grass field so we can play football it will keep you from getting hurt. I asked the nurse and she said that every day 5 people come in with a scratched knee or something because of the gravel on the dirt field.
Not only football will be better we can have muiltiple soccer field’s. People fall down playing soccer and they won’t get hurt. With more fields you can play a full game and you won’t get hurt. You only score one goal then it’s the next game.
We can also play new games like kick ball. We banned kick ball because people where getting hit with the ball then they fall and get hurt. Well in grass if you fall you usually don’t get hurt maybe they twist their wrist but that usually doesn’t hurt at all.
I hope that you think these reasons are good and that you will get a grass field instead of dirt so kids won’t get hurt.
It’s a good piece, I totally agree with you that we need a grass field. Maybe instead of using hurt, hurt, hurt, you can look up “hurt” in the thesaurus. You can make your sentences longer and detailed like “We can also play new games like kick ball.” maybe put more examples of new games. You can put more sentences in your paragraphs or just make less paragraphs. Instead of good on your last sentence again look up “good” in the thesaurus and I bet you’ll find at least 3 words for “good”. Overall it was a great piece I really enjoyed reading it, but if you follow these simple steps, I bet your writing will be much better.
Pierce,
I think that you had good reasons for why we need a grass field instead of the dirt field. Although I think you talked too much about sports, maybe you could add in a little more about running or more about how kids can get injured. Even though you did mention about both, I think you didn’t mention enough about it. Otherwise, I think you had good reasons for how and why we need a grass field. I also think that you should use a thesaurus to use different words for your sentences so all the sentences sound a little different from each other. Maybe you could also put a little more punctuation such as, a comma in places you would pause like “I think it would be better to have a grass field (,)we could play new games, have more soccer fields, and people won’t get hurt.”. Or even, you could put a period where you stop completely.I think I would agree that we should get a grass field to replace the dirt field.
Sincerely,
Gracey
Pierce,
I think having a grass field is better than the dirt we have. During football and soccer people get hurt and go to the nurse. Also what if the nurse is not at school people could not get help when they’re injured.
Dear Pierce,
I got hurt in soccer once because of the dirt field. If the school can afford a grass patch for the soccer and football, I agree it would mean less trips to the nurse. I would also prefer seeing a grass field than a dirt field.
From,
Emi